Why Katastrophik and Black Dagger Brotherhood left (I think)

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Why Katastrophik and Black Dagger Brotherhood left (I think)

Postby Rob » Thu Jul 24, 2014 7:11 pm

Katastrophik and Black Dagger Brotherhood left Survivors alliance yesterday without saying goodbye or giving a reason to the Survivors GMs.

Today I sent a bunch of tells to members of those guilds asking why they left, but nobody would answer my question. Most of them ignored me; one said he didn't know; another said "hang on" and never got back to me. I asked an intermediary to contact them, and he reported that they refused to talk to me.

Since they refuse to talk to me, I'll have to talk here instead.

I can only guess why they left, but I have a pretty good idea. I think it was because of a conversation I had with one of their members two days ago.

The conversation had nothing to do with these guilds or the alliance, and nothing to do with my role as a Survivors GM, but these guilds seem to think otherwise. Maybe they think everything I say is an Official Communication From The Survivors Alliance.

News flash: sometimes I say things that have nothing to do with the alliance.

Normally I wouldn't write anything about this conversation in a forum because it was private. But the people in these guilds have involved the alliance by leaving and refusing to say why. Secrecy will lead to false rumors. It's better to get the truth out in the open. Sunlight is the best disinfectant. So here is the truth about what happened.

For years, I've been a caretaker of a 16-year-old autistic boy named Job who plays DAOC. I learned recently that he has gotten into an inappropriate relationship with a woman who plays on both Gaheris and Ywain. She's a member of those two guilds. Two days ago I invited her into a chat and told her that her behavior is hurting Job and has to stop. I told Job the same thing. She left the chat by logging out before I could say everything I wanted to say. Since she wouldn't listen to me in the game, I sent her an email explaining how she has been hurting Job. She didn't answer. The next day I sent a tell to a toon that she frequently plays asking if she had received the email. There was no answer. I waited in case she was AFK and asked two more times. Finally the person replied, "Umm, this isn't [name omitted]."

The blue words are the whole story. That's everything that led up to the departure of Katastrophik and Black Dagger Brotherhood.

You may be thinking, "Huh? What does that have to do with the guilds?" Beats me. I'm just telling you what happened.

Today I learned something else. Until today I thought the woman had merely said inappropriate things (some were very inappropriate) and encouraged Job to do the same. Today I learned that she has been cybering with him. Job didn't tell me this until today because she made him promise to keep it secret. She told him that if he broke his promise, she would never speak to him again.

The remarkable thing is that for more than a year, this woman has been pretending to me that she is one of the people in the game who helps Job learn to control his inappropriate behavior. She has passed herself off as one of Job's protectors, as one of the good guys, as one of the people who looks after him and helps him restrain his attempts to get into relationships like this one. Turns out she was the opposite. She was like a thief who masquerades as a policeman.

I now realize I was an idiot to have been fooled because Job has been telling me for many months that she made him promise to keep things she told him secret. There could not have been a bigger warning signal.

Note to self: When an adult makes a child promise to keep their conversations secret, something is wrong.

This post is very long, so let me summarize it:

The guilds left the alliance because a grown woman was having cybersex with an autistic 16-year-old boy.

Topic for discussion: which is crazier, a grown woman who cybers with an autistic kid or a guild that leaves an alliance because somebody told her to stop?

I want to make one thing perfectly clear: I don't think the woman's behavior had anything to do with the guilds. I don't blame the guilds for her behavior. I think it's ridiculous that the guilds got involved because her behavior had nothing to do with them.

But it's the guilds, not the woman, who left the alliance, refused to explain why, and refused to talk to me.

The woman's actions were a private matter that did not concern me as a GM of Survivors. The guilds' actions are different. The guilds' actions are a public matter that does concern me as a GM of Survivors.

I regret having to discuss this in public. I'm doing it only because of the guilds. It's their fault that I'm writing this. I don't wish to humiliate this woman. She obviously has problems. But unfortunately the two guilds decided to get involved, and they dragged the alliance into it, and they refused to talk to me about it, and now I am obliged to state the facts publicly to prevent false rumors.
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Re: Why Katastrophik and Black Dagger Brotherhood left (I th

Postby Rob » Sun Jul 27, 2014 5:35 am

Several people have asked me how Job's doing. At first he was mad at me for intervening in his relationship with this woman, but after I explained my reasons, he thanked me and became angry at her. Since then he's been very happy. He's relieved to be free of her. He keeps telling me to call the cops and get her put in jail. For the last couple of days he's been complaining that she used him as a sex toy; that she abused him; that she disappointed him; that he should have told her that he's only a kid and she should have sex with her husband instead of him; etc. Some of these words are his, not mine, so a part of him must have felt like this all along while he was happily cybering with her. On the other hand he has a tendency to dramatize, and I think he's saying these things partly because it's fun for him to play the role of the righteous, indignant victim. Even if it's mere roleplaying I think it's a good thing because he's saying the right words and thinking the right thoughts about the situation.
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Re: Why Katastrophik and Black Dagger Brotherhood left (I th

Postby keltoy » Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:23 am

Poor Job :(. I sensed that he liked her, and she tore his heart out with a meat cleaver. She fooled him into it.
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I suck at talking to people. I suck using words. I honestly mean for the best intentions and positivity.
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Re: Why Katastrophik and Black Dagger Brotherhood left (I th

Postby zookeepersteve » Wed Jul 30, 2014 1:26 pm

This was all BS on the part of those 2 guilds.
Life was so much easier before I developed a sense of ethics.
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Re: Why Katastrophik and Black Dagger Brotherhood left (I th

Postby Uber » Sat Sep 20, 2014 9:59 pm

Ok, I haven't been around for a long time but I have to chime in here. Gaheris has gone Ghetto? Who would do such a thing? Even those of us that no longer play DAoC (Esp. Gaheris) know Job. Whoever this was, needs to have their head examined and get some professional help. What a sick f*ck! (and thanks for not censoring me Rob :) )
Yea though I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I shall fear no evil for *I* am the meanest mother f***er IN the valley!
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Re: Why Katastrophik and Black Dagger Brotherhood left (I th

Postby Electro » Sun Sep 21, 2014 3:15 am

Hey Uber, long time no see. Are you back on Gaheris?
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