Jobisms

Job is an autistic boy who used to play on Gaheris.

Re: Jobisms

Postby Rob » Thu Feb 28, 2013 7:46 am

Job is playing Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D Minor.

Job: Do you hear this bro?
Rob: Yep. Toccata and Fugue. The one you called vampire music.
Job: Yep bro.

Job sings along with the music for a minute, then turns it off and plays Beethoven's fifth symphony.

Job: Beethoven bro.
Rob: Yep I hear it. Do you have a name for this one bro? Like you named the other one vampire music?
Job: I call it Allegro bro.
Rob: Okay.
Job: Bro it's really Allegro Con Brio.
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Re: Jobisms

Postby Rob » Thu Feb 28, 2013 7:46 am

Job is listening to national anthems of various countries.

Job: Bro the United States used to be patriotic didn't it.
Rob: Yes.
Job: Why isn't it patriotic anymore?
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Re: Jobisms

Postby Rob » Thu Feb 28, 2013 7:47 am

Job: Bro what's the holocaust?
Rob: The holocaust is when the Nazis killed a lot of Jews.
Job: Bro I don't want to know about it.
Rob: Why?
Job: Because it's cruel. Isn't it cruel?
Rob: Yes, you're right, it's cruel.

I think this is the first time I've ever heard Job say he didn't like something because it's cruel.
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Re: Jobisms

Postby Rob » Thu Feb 28, 2013 7:48 am

Job: Bro how many hours is ten hours?
Rob: It's about ten hours.
Job: How many times is it?
Rob: It's a little bit longer than you sleep.
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Re: Jobisms

Postby Rob » Wed Apr 24, 2013 3:30 pm

Job: Hi bro
Rob: Hi bro
Job: Bro, Adolph Hitler
Rob: What about him?
Job Adolph Hitler
Job: Bro wasn't he a mean person?
Rob: Yep
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Re: Jobisms

Postby Rob » Fri Apr 26, 2013 10:14 am

Job: OH
Job: I just
Job: can't resist my girl bro
Job: She is
Job: ONE HOT PHILLIPINEA!
Job: 1 Hot Phillipina
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Re: Jobisms

Postby Rob » Thu May 09, 2013 8:44 pm

Job: brother
Job: asu can see
Job: i am in deep love
Job: with the Phillipine
Job: we both are in love
Job: sehe even
Job: left me
Job: a few
Job: Voicemails
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Re: Jobisms

Postby Rob » Fri Aug 23, 2013 7:28 am

Job: bro
Job: i got a real girlfriend
Job: Now
Job: a Real one
Job: i can touch
Job: kiss n
Job: really go out wit
Job: i Met her at the Park :)
Job: it seems
Rob: grats
Job: u were right bro
Job: girls
Job: will really like me

I have no idea why he thinks I told him that. His mother tells him that, but I'm pretty sure I haven't.

Job: her name is Lindsay
Rob: great :)
Job: U were Right bro
Job: U really were Right
Job: u were
Rob: I'm glad brother
Job: girls will come to u

I never told him any such thing. What I have told him repeatedly is that most of his many Internet "girlfriends" with whom he has cyber sex aren't real girlfriends, and that it would be good if he had a real girlfriend who lives near him in real life. Job goes to an all-boys school so it's almost impossible for him to meet girls in real life.

Rob: do you have some way to contact her? email? phone?
Job: No
Job: just facebook
Job: and i met her irl bro
Job: in person
Job: i holded her hand too
Job: bro
Job: i cannot believe this
Rob: how did you start talking to her?
Job: mmm
Job: i went into a school brother
Job: we actually met in a school
Job: I went to Topeka High
Job: n i met her in person
Rob: That's really good
Rob: What did you talk to her about?
Job: mm i dunno
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Re: Jobisms

Postby Rob » Sun Sep 08, 2013 9:50 pm

Job's mood message in Skype has been changed to:

Rob please Give me a call ASAP i had a bad day today thanks bro

And in Skype chat he left this for me:

Rob
I need to speak to you
Rob?
Ribble?
i need
to talk to you
i really really do
i need to
I need
to speak to u

It went on and on. He left voice messages too.

It's always hard to get a clear story out of Job but apparently he got mad at a kid in his class because the kid was talking. The kid wasn't talking to Job, he was just talking. Job wouldn't tell me what the kid was saying or why it annoyed him so much. Finally Job exploded and yelled at the kid, "Shut the fuck up!" The teacher punished Job pretty severely. Job was very unhappy about this but he cheered up after he told me. It's amazing how easy it is sometimes to make somebody feel better. All I did was listen and ask a few questions and sympathize without judging him.
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Re: Jobisms

Postby Rob » Mon Sep 09, 2013 6:24 pm

Job is listening to Amazing Grace played on bagpipes and humming along.

Job: This actually makes you cry, bro.

Rob: Yeah it does.

Job: Why does it make you cry, bro?

Rob: I don't know. Why do you think?

Job: I don't know.

Job: This is so beautiful, Rob.
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Re: Jobisms

Postby Rob » Tue Sep 10, 2013 3:15 pm

Job: Look what Jeri [his girlfriend] got me bro!

Job turns on camera and I see him cuddling a stuffed panda. He's squishing it against his face with a dreamy smile.

Rob: Wow that's great bro! She must really like you!

Job: Yeah bro she does.

Rob: Are you going to get her a present?

Job: No bro.

Rob: You should bro so she'll know how you feel about her.

Job: No bro because she doesn't want one. She said I'm all she needs.

Rob: Bro does it make you happy that she gave you the panda?

Job: Yes bro.

Rob: If you give her a present, she'll feel the same way. She''ll be happy too. Don't you want her to be happy?

I continue trying to make him understand that he should give a present to Jeri. He finally says he will but I think he's saying it only to shut me up.

Later: I talked to Job's mom about encouraging Job to get a present for Jeri. While he was listening to us talk on speaker phone he announced that now he wants to spend all his money on it. :)
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Re: Jobisms

Postby Rob » Wed Oct 30, 2013 9:39 pm

One of Job's web girlfriends stopped talking to him because he said "Heil Hitler" and told her he hates Jews.

Job: I lost risha
Rob: What did she say bro?
Job: told me to fuck off it was over
Rob: because of heil hitler?
Job: yep
Job: cause of my
Job: things against jews
Job: she doesn't date people who are against Jews
Job: and i am against Jews bro

Today's the first day Job ever told me that he hates Jews. Job knows I'm Jewish.

Rob: I'm a jew bro.
Job: I hate jews
Rob: do you hate me?
Job: if ur a jew yes
Job: but no
Rob: why do you hate jews?
Job: cause
Job: they are fucking annoying
Job: always
Job: wanting to
Job: Convert
Job: PEOPLE TO JEWISM!
Job: JUDIASM!
Job: ALWAYS WANTING TO FUCKING
Job: MANIPULATE
Job: PEOPLE TO CONVERT TO JUDAISM
Rob: jews don't try to convert anyone bro
Rob: that's not something jews do
Job: well NOT ANYMORE!
Rob: it's not part of judaism bro.
Rob: where did you get the idea that jews try to convert people?

Job stops answering. Thirty minutes later:

Job: OMG!
Job: SERENA'S ON FORSAKEN WORLDS!
Job: night bro

The conversation reminds me of the following from two years ago. He was cute then. He's not so cute now.

Job wrote:Job: i wish u were dead brother
Job: its ur funeral brother
Rob: bro what are you talking about?
Job: ur DEATH
Rob: why am i dying brother?
Job: CAUSE U CHOOSE TO BE EVIL
Job: CAN U GET ME SOME dragonscales? am sorry if am begging
Rob: well yes brother you are begging
Rob: c'mon let's go do something
Job: see BRO
Job: UR REFUSING MY
Job: OFFER
Job: I CAN'T
Job: DO ANYTHING
Job: LIKE BEG U
Job: AND
Job: THEN U
Job: BOTTER FOR IT!
Job: GOD!
Job: I CAN'T
Job: STAND YOU@!
Job: i REALLY]R
Job: REALLY
Job: CANNOT STAND YOU!
Rob: i know brother but what shall we do now anyway?
Rob: want to PL?
Job: COMING!
Job: yeah brother
Job: BUT I CAN'T STAND U
Rob: kk
Job: lets pl a mauler
Job: iN fins
Job: nobody in fins


Or this one:

Job wrote:Job: Hey brother
Job: are u ready to call me
Rob: not right now brother
Job: bro?
Rob: what bro?
Job: i just hit CL2
Rob: grats
Job: i like cl2
Job: ALLOT :)
Rob: terrific
Job: i hate u bro
Job: i hate u
Job: So much Bro
Job: Ur such a Little Cowardious little Hot little Hotdog
Rob: do you really hate me brother?
Job: YES
Job: and i love u too
Rob: that's nice bro, i love you too
Job: and i hate u
Rob: which is more, the love or the hate?
Job: Both
Rob: which do you like more?
Job: Hate
Job: bro
Job: and love
Job: Brother
Job: can u
Job: hELP ME
Job: find this
Job: assasin?
Job: in new frontier?
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Re: Jobisms

Postby Rob » Sat Nov 23, 2013 11:57 am

Job has been much happier lately since I bought him an MP3 player so he can listen to music again. He had been deprived of music for several weeks because his dad blocked most websites on his PC to punish him. I think this is why he became so crazy. After I bought him the MP3 player his dad unlocked Pandora and bought Job a gift card so he could download music from Amazon. Now that Job has music again, he is less crazy and less hostile, and his compulsive foot tapping has decreased markedly.

Right now Job is singing along with the Moonlight Sonata, happy as a clam. His singing is screechy and high-pitched, not something you'd ordinarily want to hear, but it makes him so happy, almost ecstatic, it warms my heart.


Job's dad: Job shut up!

Job stops singing. A minute or two later, he asks:

Job: Bro is your head on fire?

He's asking about himself not me, so I reply:

Rob: A little bit bro but let's listen to more music.

A few minutes later:

Job: Bro are you crazy?

Rob: Sometimes. Are you crazy?

Job: No.

He keeps asking me insulting questions, and I suppose they are what he is thinking about himself as a reaction to his father yelling at him, so next time he asks:

Job: Bro are you dumb?

Rob: I like your singing brother.

Job: Bro are you dumb?

Rob: I like your singing brother.

Job: Bro are you dumb?

Rob: I like your singing brother.

That seems to help. He goes back to listening to music. But a minute later he starts singing again because he's happy again, and his father will probably yell again and the cycle will repeat.

About an hour later Job is still happy. His dad has left, and he's singing along with Beethoven's Ninth. I haven't said anything in the last fifteen minutes.

Job: Are you lying?

Job: Are you lying?

Job: Are you lying?

Rob: Who are you talking to?

Job: You bro.

Rob: Can you say who is really lying?

Job: You bro.

Rob: Can you say who is really lying?

Job: I'm just trying to make it dramatic bro.

Fifteen minutes later:

Job: Bro are you insane?

Rob: Who are you asking about, me or you?

Job: You bro.

Rob: I think you're really asking about you.

Job: [in a small squeaky voice, not his real voice] Oh bro.

Job: Bro are you deaf?

Until recently Job wore hearing aids.

Rob: See what you're asking me?

Job: Do you know how Beethoven became deaf?

Rob: No bro, how?

Job: His father abused him. His father hit his ears.

Rob: That's sad.

Job: His father hit his ears and made him deaf. His father was abusive.

Rob: Did your dad ever hit your ears?

Job: No bro.

Job becomes very happy after this conversation, singing deliriously by himself without a recording.

An hour passes. He has been talking on Skype to RIsha. She has forgiven him for his anti-semitic remarks. Now he's even happier. He's singing my name over and over in a silly voice.

Job: Bro are you a Papá Noel [Santa Claus]?

Rob: Yep.

Job: Are you dumb?

Rob doesn't answer.

Job: Do you need any help bro?

Rob: No thanks.

Job sings Ode to Joy for a minute. Then in a strange theatrical voice he screams:

Job: You are a good brother! You are a good brother! You are a good brother! You are a good brother!

Rob: You're a good brother, bro.

Job: [Mechanically] You're not. You're not. You're not. You're not. You're not...

A minute later:

Job: I just burned myself bro.

Rob: How?

Job. On the heater. I was playing with fire.

Job. Do you know how dumb that is? Playing with fire?

Rob: Yeah it's dumb to play with fire.

Job: I'm dumb.

Rob: [With great emphasis] You're not dumb.
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Re: Jobisms

Postby Rob » Tue Nov 26, 2013 8:38 pm

A PM from Job:

Rob call me at 8:00 or 8:30 brother :) hugs u tight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) hugs more i'll be back brothr call me at 8:10 or 8:05 bro or 8:00 :) -hugs- u for me it's 7:37 here brother
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Re: Jobisms

Postby Rob » Fri Jan 17, 2014 3:58 pm

Job left this on Skype while I was sleeping:

Job: hello brother
Job: ROB!
Job: I WNANA SING TO YOU

*** Missed call from Job. ***
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Re: Jobisms

Postby Rob » Thu Jan 23, 2014 6:15 pm

Job: Joseph Stalin was a bad man wasn't he.

Rob: Yep.

Job: It was his moustache that made him powerful.

Rob: Laughs.

Job: Laughs.

Rob: How do you figure that?

Job: Many people criticize his moustache because it was too big.
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Re: Jobisms

Postby Electro » Fri Jan 24, 2014 10:19 pm

Rob wrote:Job: Joseph Stalin was a bad man wasn't he.

Rob: Yep.

Job: It was his moustache that made him powerful.


I lol'd.
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Re: Jobisms

Postby Rob » Sun Feb 02, 2014 9:57 am

Job: Everybody deserves love. Did you not know that bro?

Rob: I agree bro.

Job: Girls deserve love. Guys deserve love. Gays deserve love even if they aren't girls.

Rob: I agree bro.

Job: Everybody deserves love. That's why God created love. If God hadn't created love, he would have been screwed.
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Re: Jobisms

Postby Rob » Thu Feb 13, 2014 8:46 am

Job: [very excited] Bro! I learned how to tie my shoes today.

I didn't know he couldn't tie his shoes. I felt pain in my chest when he told me this.

Rob: That's great bro. Grats! Who taught you?

Job: I taught myself bro. I practiced on twisty ties on a garbage bag.
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Re: Jobisms

Postby Rob » Sat Feb 15, 2014 3:37 pm

Job: Do you have any logic bro?

Rob: I hope so. Do you have any logic?

Job: Probably.

Rob: How can you tell when you have logic?

Job: I don't know.
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Re: Jobisms

Postby Rob » Sun Mar 02, 2014 9:19 am

Job: wow brother
Job: i read all the comments i saw on gaheris.net about me
Job: Electro said i was a bOss lmao!
Rob: yep :)
Job: BECAUSE I AM!!!
Rob: yep :)
Job: THEN GIVE ME ALL YOUR GOLD!!! haha just kidding haha
Job: Hahaha
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Re: Jobisms

Postby Rob » Sun Mar 02, 2014 10:19 am

For the past few months Job has been singing along with recordings of Beethoven's "Ode to Joy" almost every day, sometimes for hours. He has taught himself to sing about half the words in German. For his birthday last December he asked me to get him a statue of Beethoven. He just made a toon on Ywain called:

Holymanofgodludwig

Edit: Since then he's added:

Ludwigtheimpaler
Ludwigvanbeethoven
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Re: Jobisms

Postby Rob » Sat Mar 08, 2014 8:16 am

Rob: somebody asked me about you last night
Rob: a guy in oblivion, the old gm
Job: lmao
Rob: he said i should say "Hi Job! from Oblivion"
Rob: why is that funny?
Job: Lmao brother
Job: becuase he plays ywain
Rob: okay but what's the joke? i don't get it
Job: nvm ur no fun at all bro
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Re: Jobisms

Postby Rob » Sat Mar 08, 2014 4:13 pm

Rob: What are you doing bro?

Job: dont knwo brother but AM SO CREEPED OUT! NOW brother some dude COMES UP TO ME SAYING HEY SEXY WANNA HOOK UP?

Rob: that's probably how women feel when you pester them

Job: Yeppers
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Re: Jobisms

Postby Rob » Sat Mar 08, 2014 8:37 pm

On Ywain:

Image
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